This past year as I was scrolling through Facebook and IG newsfeeds this one article caught my eye. It was shared multiple times on various network pages; it didn’t matter what background or social influence one had, it seemed there was a common theme. Many took interest on this topic about “Your third love” and I was a little curious, so I read the article. After reading that article, I delve a little deeper and researched a bit more.
There is this idea that you will fall in love 3 times in your life. Granted, you may have flings in between that might “feel” like love. But you will come to find they were nothing more than momentous expressions between two people. Do know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Fleeting sexual relationships are quite healthy for you. But in general, most people fall in love 3 times. The question is : How true is this?
So here’s the deal with me. I thought I fell in love about 6 times in my life. At least it felt like it. You know that first feeling that starts to tickle your insides and the excitement takes over– most relationships start out like that. I think it’s safe to say, most of those feelings do fade. I can easily go off on a tangent chatting about what happens biologically in our brains when we feel love, but I’ll save that for the next post.
After reviewing the qualities of what “love” was supposed to really feel like- I’m talking that gut-wrenching, soul crushing, more than infatuation type of love. I realized it was indeed three times. At least it was three that are the following categories I’m about to share with you.
Check what I gathered and see if this is true for you!
The first love: Different sites will give you their own version, but the common theme I picked up was that it happened when you were a bit younger. It could have been your puppy love, or maybe you were a late bloomer and it happened during your transition to your twenties. This love focused on how others perceived us, rather than how we really felt. And it dispels your original perception on how love and relationships should be.
The second love: This love you promised yourself would be different. It likely happened in your second phase of growing up. Briana Weist, a writer for The Thought Catalog said “ Just because someone claims to love you more than anything doesn’t mean you’re right for each other. You become indecisive, and you remain in denial. You’ll come to find that love isn’t compatibility, and compatibility at the same time. And just because you have a lot in common and someone is everything you always thought your significant other would be, doesn’t mean you’ll actually get along. And real compatibility is not always something you can predict. That’s why the third relationship is always such a shock.” This 2nd love would have deceit, manipulation, cycles of anger, passion, and then forgiveness. In this love, you will discover more about yourself and what you truly need in a life partner. ” This is considered hard love.”
The third love: This is the rare phenomenon that some may never experience. It’s the love that will break you down, test you, and then builds you up to greater heights. This unexpected experience will shake your soul. In order for you to feel this love, the kind that is actually sustainable, you must push past your limitations that may have restricted you. This is the love the accepts you for all that you are, and together you are even greater. This is your third and final love.
With that said though, I know there are 7.5 billion people on this planet. 7.5 billion individuals will carry 7.5 billion experiences, especially from one generation to the other. Someone in their 60’s might have fallen in love with their high school sweetheart and stayed committed ( which is amaze-balls!) But nowadays with access to social media and technology, people have access to resources to aide their search for “the one”. And then, there are some of you who may not relate to this at all. However, for my own amusement I asked 50 people to think about their experience. About 90% agreed they really had 3 significant loves. The other 10% found themselves examining their situation. Regardless of what you discovered, this topic surely wasn’t meant to rock the boat. It’s good to think about it, I feel.
I’m a wedding a planner and so my world revolves around all things love, but this truly sparked my interest. Now I am no psychology major specializing in relationships. But having experienced love and loss in the greatest form ( more than I’m willing to admit!) and having to work closely with my clients, I think I picked up a few things along the way. I would say this theory on 3rd love isn’t too far from legitimacy. Does this apply to you? Would love to hear about your experience!